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Artist’s Way – Recovering a Sense of Safety Fears raise their ugly head(s)

Reading Week 1 in Julia’s book – Recovering a sense of safety. Art [writing] won’t pay the electric bill. How many times have you heard that? I think it a lot these days.  My main guilt for not writing or painting is that I don’t see it bringing in any money at least not right away and that little voice keeps saying, screaming actually, “You need to find a real job.”Easier said than done these days. With the economy in the toilet there isn’t much of a place for a old – why aren’t you retired – plus with a small disability – old bag like me.  That fear about money keeps a lot of people from going ahead and creating anyway.Yes you need to generate money. I think I have angsted about this before haven’t I?  But if you go broke and don’t write then you are still broke, but have nothing else either. Better to create something.

I also reasonate to the part where she talks about the blocking of artistic tendencies in children. Midwest cultures wanted the girls to learn to cook, keep house and maybe teach school if you had to do something. Sewing could be creative, but be an artist? Or a Musician – my talents were in this area as a child. Or a writer? It was just frowned on at best. When you never get the nutrients you need in the growing stage you can end up stunted.

These are only two of the core negative ailments that hamper artistic endeavors. Julia goes into a long list and offers positive affirmations to thep offset them. More later on that.

I am dying to get back to my book but that little voice is there – no money, your house is a mess. Etc. and so forth.

Please, Julia, tell it to go away.

I attended two open mics this week.  One for poetry mostly and one that reads anything.  I am reading chapters of the book here as well as attending a critique group. Open mIcs – I can talk to anyone on an informal basis. But when I get behind a microphone, even with friendly faces looking at me, I just get goofy. Hey! I’m a writer. I can to get the words down on paper. Nobody told me I had to be a speaker too.

Critique groups are scary. The good responses are so wonderful.The critiques are hard to take sometimes. I remember the first time I attended a group.  I thought I was going to burst into tears and run out like some schoolgirl. And here I thought I was a grownup. (and old grownup at that). I don’t know if all writers or artists, etc. are as sensitive as I am, probably not. But I know a lot of them that are. I mean, that’s your heart you lay out on the table.  And everyone is different in their opinions, likes and dislikes.  You have to try to learn to take what is useful and discard the rest. Don’t throw out everything and keep revising forever (guilty) , but don’t think that every opinion is valid for your work either.  A fine line sometimes – often.  I keep on trying.

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