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Tongue-in-cheek jokes from 2007


Tongue in cheek jokes from 2007.  I found these in some old email.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that’s taking things a bit far!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]


Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren’t they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That’s what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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The One on One Method (via Uphill Writing)


I want to try this method. Two people reading each other’s chapters to the other person. I think it sounds like a very good idea.

The One on One Method Some ideas are just too good to keep to yourself.  The One on One Method is just such an idea. Elsewhere I have suggested that one of the best ways to “road test” your writing is to read it back twice before allowing others to see it. I’ve suggested that the first read be a silent, or “visual” read, one designed to spot obvious errors.  Most of us do this by habit. The second read is “aloud”.  Reading out loud employs different areas of your brai … Read More

via Uphill Writing

A is for alligator.


Etymology – word of the day.
A is for alligator.  (The etymology of the word ‘alligator’)

Alligator

1560s, lagarto, modern form attested from 1620s, a corruption of Sp. el lagarto (de Indias) “the lizard (of the Indies),” from L. lacertus (see lizard). Alligarter was an early variant. The slang meaning “non-playing devotee of swing music” is attested from 1936; the phrase see you later, alligator is from a 1957 song title.
From the Online Etymology Dictionary
Or as they say today L8tr Allig8tr.
Informative links:
Crocodiles – http://www.thebigzoo.com/Animals/American_Alligator.asp
Mississippi alligator –  http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/cnhc/csp_amis.htm